To Blog..or not to Blog..that is the question.

Lately I have read so many heart felt posts on why they blog and how they feel about their "comments". I have to admit, the very reason I began a blog is not what motivates me to continue with it.
My dear friend Ronda introduced me to the world of blogging. I loved going to her blog daily and so wished I had one too. But why? Although Ronda is one of my dearest friends, and the pictures she posted I may of seen before, I loved the thoughts she took the time to convey through her posts.
Since I have inherited the "Stevens" (my maiden name) blood, and letter writing is practically non existant, I wanted a way to stay in touch with my family that I don't get to see, and that I fail to send pictures to, although I may have taken just a few. I wanted them to get to see my immediate family and get to watch Chelsea grow, although they don't get to see her, and some have never have seen her.
And since our children don't live at home anymore, a place for them to know what is going on in their parents lives. A place for friends I haven't seen in way too long, to know that I am still alive, and what is happening in my part of the world.
So, for months I stressed over the perfect name for my blog. As much stressing as I did over it, I think it took my new friend Lindsay who I had just met about a few minutes to tell me the name and it stuck...."I am just too much" Thank you Lindsay for helping me overcome that obstacle and for being my new friend.
So, I sat down for hours and figured out how to run this blog site, and made my first post. I was so excited. I emailed all my family, my children and friends and told them about my new adventure that I would love them to take part in.
It hasn't been what I thought it would be for them, I don't really know if any of them have ever looked at it before, or the few that have just a few times. I email them and ask if they have looked and I get no response. It stings a bit, I won't lie. Its not about them leaving a "comment" although I do love them, it just makes me wonder why in the world I continue.
Every post I make I work so hard on to share my heart. I take the time to make my words count, to share a part of my heart that you may not always see.
I have come to the conclusion that even if those people never see one thing on my blog, I will keep on. I will share my heart even if no one reads this, because it is healing for me. I re-read every post I make and it ministers to me. It gives me hope, it makes me cry, it makes me laugh. It makes me REAL. It makes me take the time to soul-search, to reflect, to remember.
So, for me, I post. If others have the time to read the words I share, I am blessed. If they comment, I love it, if they don't, I understand. In the hustle and bustle of life, we just get too busy. I so understand that.
I don't always have the time to read all my friends blogs, but I am so blessed when I do. Every one has some bit of wisdom, insight, and inspiration that I draw from. Every one different, every one unique, some I have never met before and have no idea I have been to their blog, but touched just the same.
Maybe I need to sit down and write a letter to family that I haven't been in touch with and let them know I am alive. I think I will........

Today.....I Wish

Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles-

A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing along song on the radio.

Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection-little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you,
holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget
It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in too much of a hurry and that you've probably forgotten your friends.

Take the time!

Kleenex Required

I find that some days are just harder than others. The past week was full of those days with Thursday and Friday being the worst. Once again the staff and students at PHS dealth with the death of a student. I spent the day Thursday in a “safe room” at the high school. For a week now Jessica had been in a coma and her family had to make the decision to take her off of all life support. So, we sat with broken students and tried to be of some comfort as they waited for the news that their friend has taken her last breath here on earth.
Thursday started with hearing that her mom was laying on the bed with her in ICU, listening to her daughter breathe and wondering which breath would be her last one. There is nothing on earth that prepares a mom for that. The heartbreak she must be feeling. So many unanswered questions, so many “what if’s” , so many “if only’s”.
On Thursday night Jessica took her last breath. Friday was just too much. I left work in the arms of my husband who heard my cries and came to me to be of any comfort he could. As hard as I tried I couldn't make the tears stop. So much emotion, so much pain. Pain for a family who has had their world turned upside down. Pain for students and staff. Pain for other losses I have had in my life...too many.
I remember laying in ICU next to my son and wondering if he could hang onto life. I remember my prayers to God, my pleading, my heartbreak. The doctors, the nurses, the specialists, x-rays, scans, the lights, the monitors. And I remember the crash, when it all hit me several days later and I wept. I remember my husband being there to once again hold me. It would be a long healing but my son lived. He recovered, he walked, and he healed. The emotional scars for all of us remain, but my God is faithful.
I am very heartbroken, but not without hope. I have a very deep faith, that although not always seen, it is what holds my life together, holds my marriage together, and holds my family together. I always have a God who is bigger than anything I face in life and he is always faithful. So, the tears are good for me, I don't cry very often, so when I do, they flow. Imagine me, being to stubborn to cry....hummmmmmm.
Being a parent is the hardest job we will ever have on earth. We rejoice when we look at our child for the first time. We are filled with so many hopes and dreams for their future. We give them all the love we have to give; we hold their hands until they can walk on their own. We try to instill in them a sense of right and wrong, values they will carry through life, we try to provide a safe, nurturing environment in which our children can grow, and to prepare them for the time when they will leave the nest, we give them roots to grow and wings to fly.
As a parent you pray that the seeds you have planted with one day grow, and that you will one day get to see the fruit. For this family, those hopes and dreams died with their daughter.
So, today I have taken time to reflect on what really is important, what really matters, what issues are the big ones and which ones aren't so big at all. None of us really know how long we have here on Earth. Only God knows that. I don't know if any of us can ever be prepared to say goodbye to a loved one, a child, a parent, a friend. I do know that I am responsible for "me" on my walk through life.
I want to do all I can to eliminate too many "what ifs", "if onlys", and "how comes". I want to do all I can to let go of unforgiveness, to right the wrongs, to love more, to give more, to live more.
To get back to what is really important: RELATIONSHIPS

So today I choose to....
Cherish every moment that life offers.
And celebrate every small pleasure.
Express my love at every chance
And allow it to unfold gracefully.
Show my devotion and dedicate my life
to the enrichment of every relationship.

To strive always for honesty and integrity.
Build upon my marriage daily.
And seek to understand others.
But above all this......
Draw upon the love I feel today
and forever etch it in my heart.

The Way I See It #273

Gotta love Starbucks. How many drinks have I had and not read the dang cup. Who would of thought? This morning the moon, stars and pupils of my eyes must of lined up and I read my cup. Somehow it really hit home with me. As I read it I thought of the times Mark and I have sat down and Chelsea crawled up in our laps with a pile of books to read to her. So often we have other things to do but are so richly rewarded when we take the time to be a "human laptop".
I miss those times with my own children, although I probably could get them to sit on my lap if I tried, not the same effect as when they were little however. I am sure I had those moments with my children, times when they climbed up in my lap and needed to be held, needed to be read to, and loved on. They just seem so long ago.
It is funny how having a grandchild brings back a flood of memories with your own children. Along with that I find myself wishing I would of taken more time to enjoy those moments. Wishing I hadn't been in such a hurry and so busy "doing" that I didn't take the time to "enjoy" like I wish I had.
With that said, Lord, Make me a human laptop. May my children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and anyone else who needs a lap to crawl onto, always know that they are welcome.

All children need a laptop.
Not a computer, but a human laptop.
Moms, Dads, Grannies and Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles – someone to hold them, read to them, teach them.
Loved ones who will embrace them and pass on the experience, rituals and knowledge of a hundred previous generations.
Loved ones who will pass to the next generation their expectations of them, their hopes, and their dreams.
-- General Colin L. PowellFounder, America’s Promise – the Alliance for Youth.

Happy Birthday Princess

One Princess.
Four Candles.
Presents, cake, and family.
A royal event.

And look, jewels and a crown.

And a new princess gown complete with more jewelry, tiara and shoes to match. And a cousin to play dress up with. No problem getting you to pose for this special day.

Four years ago today, I paced the floor at the hospital, anxiously awaiting her arrival. I can still remember the joy I felt in hearing myself say, "I am a Grandma". I never would of imagined that one person could change a world in the way she has changed ours.
I love being her Grandma.
I love that twinkle she has in her eye.
I love her personality.
I love her hugs and "I love you's"
I love listening to her pray at night.
My heart melts when I hear her say Gramma and Papa.
My heart is full today, as I cherish every day of the past 4 years.
I just love "watching Chelsea grow".
Happy Birtdday my little Princess.

Losing Weight

There is a reason I do not own a scale....they LIE! So, for fear of bad news I haven't gone to weigh in in two weeks. This is bad behavior. I admit it. I really like how my friend Amy did her last post, she tracked how many miles she had gone while exercising this past week. I so could do that. It will be easy to track last week, that would be "0" miles...big fat goose egg. I know that my temperment would be slightly better if I would just go do it. Since I figured out how to "weigh in" in my previous post, I have now figured out why I can't lose weight.
Am I discouraged you ask? Heck no. It takes more than that to knock me down. When the scale stops lying to me and my pants quit shrinking in the waist I will announce weight loss in pounds, until then, you get miles.

A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" Button on the stupid phone!!!

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!" (Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

How To Weigh Yourself

I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.
Weighing in is one of my biggest battles. That (%#%^ scale lies to me every week. I work out, I watch what I am eating, I spit every drop of moisture I have before I walk in the door, I wear the lightest clothes I have, and even stand backwards on the scale and NOTHING!!!!
Finally, I figure it out. I never even thought of this one and can't wait to share it at WW next week when I go to weigh in. Since they never know what I am going to say or do when I come to weigh in, I am sure this one will blow them out of the water. And if that dang scale gives me bad news, I am bustacating it all over the place.

Winter Wonderland

Life just doesn't get much better than this. I love the snow and have been waiting for the day that I could go outside with Chelsea and build our first snowman together. Everytime Ronda tells me it is snowing on the mountain I ask her if it is good snowman snow.
Although yesterday wasn't the greatest snow for making a snowman, it packed but didn't want to roll into a ball, Chelsea and I bundled up in our best snow gear and away we went. I only wish Papa could of been here to capture more of our day in pictures.
We shoveled the walks twice, by the time I got to the end of the sidewalk it had snowed so much I had to start over. After that we saved that job for Papa, we had more important things to do.
My best solution to not being able to make a snowball was to get us each a bucket and pack them with snow and to keep stacking snow that way until we could shape our snowman. Chelsea was a trooper and packed and hauled snow for over two hours.

It was so much fun to watch Chelsea run through the snow, crawl in it, jump in it, and even try and catch some on her tongue. Now who taught her that? Wasn't me this time. I must say it is pretty cute though.

And the fruit of our labor.....Frosty the snowman, who Chelsea told me is a girl. I don't think Mark has noticed yet that I broke branches off a tree in the yard for the arms. I knew I was keeping that cute straw hat for something besides a yard sale, and I must say, the mini carrot nose tops Mrs. Frosty off quite nicely.

Our hair was soaked, along with everything we were wearing, our faces were red and Lord knows what all came our of Chelsea's nose during our adventure, but I will never forget this day.
These are the special times, times I'll remember, times I will cherish forever.

ABCs

Okay, this has got to be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen. All day Chelsea had been singing songs and wanted me to take her picture. So when I got the camera out, she just stopped. I told her that was okay and put the camera down. Well, that was not what she wanted and put on such a cute display of spoiled rotten behavior I have ever seen. After all the tears were cleaned up I told her I would turn the camera back on and wait for her to sing. What follows is the saddest version of ABC's I think you have seen.

Notice the attire.....Cute Pink nightgown and princess shoes (on the wrong feet). The feather helps to keep balance and keep her on tune. I think the fact that after hours of Stacey and I trying to get this video to turn, it is just appropriate that it is sideways.

Christmas Pageant

We hadn't planned on Chelsea being in a Christmas Pageant when we went to church on Christmas Eve, but when we walked in the door they grabbed all the kids and if you wanted a part, you were in. At first Chelsea was going to be an "Angel". Notice there is one star to hold for one lucky angel. She was pretty good about the fact that she was not the designated angel but we turned around and out she came, dressed as a "Shepherd".

What a smart girl she is. She figured it out that if she was a shepherd she would get to hold her own stick so she changed costumes. I was a little nervous when I saw the look on Carson's face, but was even more nervous when I found out that the kids didn't sit with parents, but up in the front row with one of the older girls to help out.

I am not sure I got much out of the service as I was constantly watching Carson and Chelsea's "Staff" waving around, hooking objects within reach and some not so much in reach. I am pretty sure that the girl that was sitting with them was an angel in disguise. She was so patient with the two of them. God surely has more patience than I do, with about 5 minutes left in the service I broke down and went and sat behind them. The bad thing was they were in the front row and if I boxed them between the ears, God and everyone would of been watching......God is good.

Lovin' Her Uncles

Everyone needs an Uncle that you can wrestle and play with.
One who gladly gets down on all fours and pretends he is a horse for you.
Who takes time to wrestle with you and allow you to jump all over him.
One who puts you on his shoulders and runs through the house with you so you can touch the ceilings in every room.
One who tickles you and lets you tickle him back, laughing just as hard as you are.
One who cuddles with you on the couch and will watch "Little Mermaid" again and again with you.

And how lucky for Chelsea, she gets two Uncles to love on her.
The smile on her face shows it all. Life doesn't get any better than that.

A Sledding We Will Go....

Over the river and through the woods.... well, we are crossing a creek, does that count? Here we are at Lon and Ronda's for a fun day of sledding in honor of Melisa's birthday. This is the beginning of our day and after bundling everyone up we head out to find a hill. By the time we got this far all the adults were exhausted and we were probably only a block from the house. The snow was so deep we could hardly walk, let alone pull the kids on the sleds. Melisa said the snow was waist deep on her and she turned around a few feet into the treck. Oh, my short friends.

We ended up building a little hill right next to the house and Mark spent most of the day setting the tube on the hill, piling kids on top and letting them go. I think they had just as much fun doing that as they would of climbing a big hill all day long.

This was Chelsea's first time sledding and possibly her first real time playing in the snow. She had a blast and didn't want to come in. The only thing she didn't like was when the snow got inside her gloves, but who would?

I don't know if Chelsea is old enough to really remember her first sledding adventure, but if nothing else she will have adorable pictures that captured the moment. I wonder if my kids wish I could of been their Grandma instead?

Papa, Do This! Like This Papa!

It amazes me how one person can demand so much attention, and we give it to her. She has needs that must be met I guess, and she knows how to go about it. Chelsea found this set of weights in the closet one day and just loves to show us how strong she is. I have no idea how she even knew what they were or how to use them, (wonder if she saw me working out?) LOL

So, here she is trying to show Papa how to use them. The whole time he is struggling to lift them she is encouraging him and helping him out. And when he finally is able to lift them..............

She says, "Good job Papa". Then she once again shows him just how easy it really is.

Notice she can lift them all by herself, and even wearing jewelry. Man I love this girl.

My Greatest Accomplishment

I don't know how a person can begin to summarize 25 years of marriage, after all, it has taken us 25 years to get to this point. On December 30th, Mark and I celebrated our 25th Anniversary. I can not think of one thing in my life that has more meaning to me. It truly is my "Greatest Accomplishment". The only relationship that means more to me is my relationship with the Lord.

Life has brought us many struggles, some that we would not of made it through together if not for a God who continues to show us what unconditional love really is, and family and friends who dared to spend time on their knees for us (especially during those times when we wouldn't or couldn't). I think I may of even been mad at times for people praying for us, it was just easier to quit. Somehow, we have come through those dark times even stronger than before.

If there is one thing we both agree on, it is that we are in this for life. We have also agreed to not try and shorten each other's life in any way. LOL....I was getting way to serious there. There is a song that I have always felt sums up our life by Shania Twain called "You're Still the One. The odds were against us from the start but somehow we held on.....at times by a thread, but we still held on. Some of the lyrics follow:

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
They said, 'I bet they'll never make it
'But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

They said, 'I bet they'll never make it
'But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong


So, here we are....25 years stronger, 25 years richer in love, 25 years together.

Our dating days...

and The day we said, "I DO!" December 30th, 1982

1988


1992ish Had to convert to sepia, not sure about those colors we were wearing.

Cotillion 1997...man I wish I could be that thin again.

Summer of 1998

Fall of 2001

Fall of 2003

I wish I could say our storms have all passed us by, that it will be smooth sailing from here on out.
I wish I could say we got it all together and have this marriage thing figured out.
I wish a lot of things, but this I know....
We both commit to taking each other by the hand and weathering this life together.


Thank you for all the prayers, the support, the shoulders I have leaned on, and for the love you have shown.

And to my husband Mark, I love you. Thank you for your unconditional love, your strength and compassion and most of all for your desire to be a man of God and follow him daily.

one day,
one challenge,
one celebration at a time......

We've become a family
with a crazy, funny
runaround life.

We've built a home,
filled with warmth and caring,
made it a place
where love and
dreams can grow...

And it all begins with love,
the love we give every day.
I am so thankful for the life we share and the happiness we've found together.